بِسۡمِ اللهِ الرَّحۡمٰنِ الرَّحِيۡمِ

1 Verse :

^{‘‘And one of His signs (Aayaat) is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find tranquility (suqoon) in them. And He has placed between you love (mawaddhah) and mercy (rahmah). Surely in this are signs for people who reflect.’’ (30:21)}

1 Story : ‘‘Her love was rizq for me.’’

Khadijah (r.a) was widowed twice by the age of 25 and remained unmarried for years. She was proposed to by Abu Jahl, Abu Sufyan, and Uqbah bin Abi Mu‘it — powerful, and wealthy men — but she declined. She was extremely wealthy, intelligent, and the richest woman among Quraysh. If her caravan stood alone against all of Quraysh’s, hers would still outdo them. Generous beyond measure, she helped the poor get married and would even provide the mahr herself.

Tired of being cheated in trade, she sought someone honest and trustworthy to manage her wealth. On the other hand, the Prophet ﷺ who was 15 years younger than her was a shepherd for Abu Talib and also managed his business. Khadijah heard about him through Halah — that he was exceptionally trustworthy — and she sent him a business proposal.

The Prophet ﷺ accepted and took her caravan to Ash-Sham that year. Maysarah, who accompanied him, witnessed his character: the cloud never left him, trees shaded him when he rested, and when asked to swear by al-Lat or al-‘Uzza, he said, “I have never sworn by them.” Maysarah saw the Prophet’s ﷺ honesty and integrity. He doubled Khadijah’s profits on that trip, and his pure monotheism resonated deeply with her, as she herself was a monotheist.

The Prophet ﷺ too had been turning down proposals. He came from a poor family and wanted to care for them. But Allah destined this marriage.

His noble character and truthful speech appealed Khadija r.a.

She was 40, he was 25. They became a wealthy couple, and the Prophet ﷺ moved into her home. In five years, they had six children, and her previous children, along with Zayd (Prophet’s ﷺ adopted son) and Ali ibn Abi Talib, also lived with them — a full, lively household.

They loved each other deeply and argued only once — when she asked him to attend a family gathering where idols were invoked. The Prophet ﷺ refused, unwilling to participate in idol worship.

Khadijah always sought to please him. When she met Halimah, who had nursed the Prophet ﷺ, she saw how he loved her like a mother — so Khadijah gifted Halimah forty sheep and a camel. Anyone who had ever helped the Prophet ﷺ, she would honor and spend on. After her death, the Prophet ﷺ continued to repay her efforts by sending gifts to Khadijah’s friends.

As revelation neared, the Prophet ﷺ began seeing true dreams and loved solitude. He would retreat to Cave Hira — sometimes for days, weeks, or even a month. People mocked Khadijah for his long absences, but she never complained. At 54 or 55 years old, she would climb the mountain herself — carrying food and supplies so he could remain there in worship. A woman in her late fifties, who had borne many children, climbing that harsh mountain alone — in the heat or the dark — without steps, without complaint.

She sensed something profound was happening and wanted to support him however she could. No one told her to; her heart led her.

Then the moment came — Jibreel (a.s.) descended upon the Prophet ﷺ in the cave. Trembling, he returned not to Abu Bakr r.a. (his best friend), not to Abu Talib (his father figure), not to Hamzah r.a. (his uncle and best friend)— but to Khadijah. He said, “Cover me! Cover me! Hold me!” and she asked no questions, just held and comforted him. When he finally spoke, he said, “O Khadijah, what is wrong with me? I fear for myself.” He meant — am I possessed? Have I lost my mind?

In that instant, Khadijah could have broken him. She could have said, “Stop going to Hira. Rest. We’ll talk later.” She could have stayed neutral or criticized. There were a hundred possible reactions. She could have used this opportunity to mock him.

But subḥānAllāh — right away, the first words she says are :
“No way! These are glad tidings! This is good news from Allah. I swear, Allah would never disgrace you.”

The first thing she does is deny the fear — because the Prophet ﷺ needed to hear, “I’m not crazy. I haven’t lost my mind. I’m not possessed.”

And she reassures him : ‘‘You keep good relations with your kin, speak the truth, help the poor and the destitute, honor your guests, and assist those stricken with calamities.”

SubḥānAllāh — after such a traumatic experience, the first thing you need is reassurance, and then, someone to help you see the hidden good in what feels like hardship.

They had now been married for fifteen years. No one knew the Prophet ﷺ better than her. You only believe it when it comes from someone who actually knows you well.

Subhan Allah. She believed in him before even he was sure of himself!

Khadījah (r.a) embraced him, and when revelation later came — “O you who covers himself (al-Muddaththir)” — the Prophet ﷺ said, “You are the first I’m calling to this message.”
And Khadījah (r.a) replied, “And I am the first to accept it.”
She became the first Muslim. Without any hesitation.

The Prophet ﷺ performed his first wuḍūʾ, his first ṣalāh, his first ṭawāf, and his first qiyām with Khadījah (r.a). She sold her goods and spent all her wealth on the call of the Prophet ﷺ. When he was rejected, pelted, slandered, losing everything — she lost everything too.

During the boycott, Khadījah could have stayed outside, in comfort, supporting from afar.
But she insisted on being with him inside that walled-off valley — cut off from food and drink — and she secretly helped sneak in supplies for the starving.

Khadījah (r.a), a woman who had lived a life of wealth, beauty, and dignity — ate grass to survive.
Even the little food that came in, she distributed to others.
Imagine the Prophet ﷺ looking at her — frail, thin, sick — in her sixties — and never once did she complain.
As much as he loved Khadijah, don’t you think he felt guilty, seeing the pain that the daʿwah was causing her?

She was his only wife till her death. This was something unheard of in Mekkah.

Khadījah (r.a) passed away just three days after Abū Ṭālib. Imagine losing your father figure and just days later : the love of your life, your emotional support, someone you were married to for 25 for years! His grief was so huge that people left him alone, fearing even to speak to him, worried he might die from sorrow.

The Prophet ﷺ would be heard weeping at night, comforting Fāṭimah (r.a).

ʿĀ’ishah (r.a) narrates : “I was never jealous of a woman the way I was jealous of Khadījah — and I never even met her.” “Whenever the Prophet ﷺ slaughtered a sheep, he would send some of it to Khadījah’s friends.”

‘‘Every single day, thirteen years after her death, not a day passed without him mentioning her.” Imagine that — through Badr, Uhud, Khandaq, Fatḥ Makkah — he never went a day without mentioning her.

Once, overcome by jealousy, ʿĀ’ishah (r.a) said, “Hasn’t Allah given you someone better than this toothless old woman from Quraysh?”

His face changed — the way it only did during revelation — and he said:

He would praise her often.
When Hālah, Khadījah’s sister, would visit, the Prophet ﷺ would say excitedly, “Allāhumma Hālah! Allāhumma Hālah!” — because her voice resembled Khadījah’s, and it reminded him of her.

ʿĀ’ishah (r.a) said they would sit together for hours, just remembering Khadījah.

Once, an old woman came to visit. The Prophet ﷺ treated her with great honor — emptied the whole house for her — when Ayesha (r.a) asked he said,

“She used to come to us during the days of Khadījah.”

When the Prophet ﷺ saw Khadījah’s old necklace years later, he sat down and wept for a long time.

After the conquest of Makkah, when people invited him to stay in grand homes, he refused — and instead, pitched a tent beside Khadījah’s grave. He didn’t even enter their old house.

ʿĀ’ishah (r.a), still hurt, once said, “It’s always Khadījah who prevails upon your mind.”

And the Prophet ﷺ replied, as in Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim (2435b) :

“Her love was Ruziqtu ḥubbahā : Allah granted me her love as a provision, as rizq.’’

Subhan Allah. What does rizq mean? Something directly from Allah, which nourishes you. Which Allah writes for you.

May Allah gather us with him ﷺ and with our first mother and his first love, Khadījah (r.a).
Allāhumma āmīn.

1 Lesson :

The verse we’re studying today isn’t just talking about marriage — it’s talking about a sign from Allah. Think about that: He places marriage in the same category as the sky, the mountains, the alternation of night and day. It’s one of His āyāt — His proofs, His art, His message.

And Allah tells us the purpose: “Litaskunū ilayhā” — so that you may find tranquility in them.

Then Allah says, “And He placed between you mawaddah and rahmah.”
He placed it — not you, not your effort, not your skill, not your romantic playlist. He placed it.

Which means it’s a gift, not an achievement. You can’t manufacture them; you can only protect what He puts there.

Allah didn’t even say “love.” He said mawaddah — and that’s different.
Mawaddah isn’t just feeling love, it’s showing love — doing love. It’s making their tea when they’re tired, holding their hand when they feel insecure. Even when you’re annoyed. Especially when you’re tired. Mawaddah is love that acts.

And then comes raḥmah — mercy. The ability to forgive, to see the best, to pause your ego. You know when your spouse messes up again, and your anger’s ready to explode — but you remember they’re human. You hold back. You give space. You show grace. That’s raḥmah.

When the Prophet ﷺ came trembling from Cave Ḥirā’, Khadijah (r.a) gave him sukūn — tranquility. Allah Himself had placed mawaddah and raḥmah between them, as the Prophet ﷺ himself said, “Her love was my rizq.”

Khadijah (r.a) didn’t just feel love; she showed it — carrying food up the mountain, honoring everyone who helped him, spending her entire fortune, and speaking words of faith when he doubted himself. The Prophet ﷺ showed mawaddah too — for decades after her death. He remembered her every day, sent food to her friends, rejoiced at hearing her sister’s voice.

When love becomes tested, raḥmah begins. Khadijah (r.a) shared in the Prophet’s ﷺ pain — exile, hunger, and boycott — never once complaining, never asking, “Why me?” And the Prophet ﷺ never married another while he was married to her.

That love was not self-made — it was placed by Allah.
And if you reflect on their marriage, you can see in it the light of Allah’s mercy being reflected.

1 Question for you :

If Allah places mawaddah (love) and rahmah (mercy) between to people, why do you chase it from people instead of seeking it through Him?

Dhikr of the week :

رَبَّنَا هَبۡ لَـنَا مِنۡ اَزۡوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيّٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ اَعۡيُنٍ وَّاجۡعَلۡنَا لِلۡمُتَّقِيۡنَ اِمَامًا‏

^{“Our Lord! Bless us with ˹pious˺ spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts, and make us models for the righteous.” (25:74)}

If you’re seeking deeper, personalized guidance beyond these reflections —
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May Allah grant marriage to the unmarried among the Ummah, and bless every union with sakīnah, mawaddah and raḥmah.

Until next Thursday/Friday, in shā’ Allāh.

— Aaira

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P.S. If you want to know more about Khadijah (r.a.), definitely check out Omar Suleiman’s series The Firsts— the episode on Khadijah r.a. really helped me write this. Its available on Youtube.